my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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