I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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