I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
