Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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