would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
