After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
