3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
