Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
