JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
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cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
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Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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