Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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