I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
