I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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