He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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