Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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