I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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