ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
