i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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