Duck Duck Cougar?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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