I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Dick very happy bro
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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