Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
