Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
tell me about the fingering
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