Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
