S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
