I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
BRING THE BAGELS
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
