if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
