Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
