Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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