Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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