I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
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Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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