I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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