Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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