So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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