Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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