I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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