I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize