Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
