she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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