A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My life is pants optional.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
