fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
