I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
