So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
