His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
