I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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