we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
