Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
