Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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