discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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