Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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