I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
