He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
