when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
