How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
