Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
When did angry sex become our thing?
did you just send me my own nude
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
