Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
