found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
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