I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
