I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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